In-laws stay too long with newlyweds

By Annie Lane

Dear Anne: I recently attended my favorite cousin’s wedding, which was absolutely stunning. However, I am troubled by what I have heard about his new wife’s parents. Her parents scheduled a visit with them to their home last summer for two weeks, then extended their visit to 3 1/2 weeks. Now, after the wedding, they plan to stay two more days and now say they might stay for a week.

My cousin and his new wife decided to take a hotel for these two nights and were ok with it because it was a bit like a mini honeymoon. But they are really upset that they could now have guests for the rest of the week. I am really worried, not only for what is happening now, but also for the future. I think they are setting an uncomfortable precedent by not saying no to this overstepping of boundaries. They really don’t want to hurt anyone. but they don’t know what to do. Any advice on how to handle this? — Exceed their welcome

Dear overstay: You’re right that the bride’s parents probably don’t read the play. However, the only ones who can stand up to the couple are the newlyweds. The next time you talk to your cousin, let him know that this behavior from his in-laws will likely continue unless he sets limits now. If they don’t set the line, they can’t blame anyone for crossing the line.

Dear Anne: As the parent of two amazing young adults with severe food allergies (milk, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts), I was moved by the Garlic Allergy letter. I appreciate your response, but I also wanted to write about another option to manage this allergy.

My kids also struggle with any potluck situation and they like to pack their own takeout food so they can enjoy the social part of a potluck or other food-related event. food, but they don’t have to worry about going to the hospital. because they have ingested something to which they are allergic. It may seem awkward to take your packaged food out, but in our experience people don’t care and would rather you be there eating your own food than not attend. — Experienced allergic mom

Dear Experienced Allergic Mom: What a great suggestion – thank you! I was overwhelmed by the responses in support of “Garlic Allergy” from readers who had similar stories. The sentiment of the letters was always the same: when someone tells you they have a food allergy, don’t roll your eyes. They probably went on a long and unpleasant health journey in order to discover their intolerance in the first place.

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].


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